Working Mom Life

Making ‘Mom’ Work- The First 12 Months As a Working Mom

Since I’m a work from home mom, I thought my first blog post should really capture what it feels like to be a full time, working mom who works from home. Like everyone else, there are so many roles I have in life, and when you bring work home the lines quickly feel blurred. Working from home is becoming more common, but I find it’s hard to find others who share the challenges of being a work from home mom. First, let me start by saying I am 100% so thankful to have the opportunity to work from home. It has changed my life and honestly, if I didn’t have the opportunity to work from home, I’m not sure I would be working at all at this point in my life.

Enter the love of my life, my son, we’ll call him little guy. My little guy changed my life in ways I never thought possible. Before he came along, I was working super long hours, doing a good bit of travel in a demanding career that also brought me a lot of fulfillment. But as my belly grew and my pregnancy progressed, I had a feeling I would not be able to keep up the grueling pace my work required after little guy came along.

One of my good friends gave me some advice- she told me, make zero big changes in your life until after your child is 12 months old. I thought this advice was a little crazy, but she has literally never steered me wrong, so I decided to commit to this approach. Then, something amazing happened. An incredible opportunity to do what I love while working 100% from home came along. Dreams do come true! It has been a transition, but on this blog I hope to share what I’ve learned along the way to help me make working from home, and being a working mom, work.

Our little guy had colic. Yikes, if you are a mom out there dealing with a newborn with colic, please know it gets better! I will definitely be sharing more about our life with a colicky baby in the future. But for now, let’s just say our little guy refused to sleep, cried all the time and if we did get him to sleep it would have to be on a human being (read: no one could do anything all day or night because we were either trying to get the child to sleep or sitting down with the child sleeping on us). I could not possibly imagine going back to work under these circumstances as he woke every two hours for the first 6 months of his life. But I made a promise to myself to not make any big life changes until we hit the 12-month mark. So, I kept going and somehow made it through that exhausting, amazing and frustrating maternity leave and went back to work…in my home office.

I found this was an amazing balance! I loved having my son just in the other room (we chose to keep him home with a babysitter for the first year) and it felt so good to break up the diapers and baby talk with some work. Work life balance, achieved! WRONG. While I did feel so glad to have made the choice to return to work, it did feel hard to balance motherhood and work, even working 100% from home. My first work trip was approaching, and the anxiety was growing. Thoughts of staying home full time popped up again, but I stayed true to my commitment to not make any big life changes in that first 12 months of little guy’s life. So even though nothing has felt more wrong in my life, I prepared to leave my son for the first time for a work trip. This trip was ultimately cancelled when I ended up in the hospital with a vestibular condition, but that’s a story for another time!

I did have to eventually take a work trip. My friend reminded me to focus on the fact that I would get room service and a full night of uninterrupted sleep, and that did help! I noticed that there was actually more anxiety involved in preparing to leave than actually being gone. I did miss little guy terribly (and my husband of course!) and with each FaceTime call my heart hurt knowing that I was missing bath time and stories before bed. But the trip went by quickly and I was so happy to be home days later. I also realized it was truly important for me to focus on me, too. You know, taking the time to do luxurious things like showering, putting on makeup and getting dressed! It showed me I was neglecting myself in a big way and made me make some important changes in that area that ultimately helped me feel better about myself. So again, I was so glad to have made the decision to keep working.

The amazing thing about kids and the most surprising part of motherhood for me is the fact that babies and kids are constantly changing. I am a routine person, so I have had the same routine practically my whole adult life. Now, our routine can change every three or so months as little guy changes. Through all of these changes, my attitude about working changes too.

Fast forward two years- my son is now three and has so much more independence. He has his own preferences and likes/dislikes. He needs time away from me, it’s important to his growth and development and makes him happy. I continue to be so happy with my decision to continue working. With all of this said, I am writing this from the position of a 100% work from home mom. That means I get what I guess to be about 2 hours more with my child per day than most other working parents. I have no commute, and my lunch breaks are spent doing chores around the house and prepping dinner so that when I pick up my son from preschool, I get to have quality time with him. Most are not so lucky!

If I didn’t have this extra time every day with my son, I may feel totally different about this. And maybe it will all change again in two years as he enters school and starts sports. Will I really be OK with missing soccer games and school recitals for work trips? I’m not sure. But I am glad I continue to try, despite the crazy, somewhat unbalanced life it brings, because working also brings me fulfillment and joy. It is odd to me, but I feel really guilty writing that for the world to see. Mom guilt is real!

I share my perspective hoping that it will help some new mom, or even someone considering motherhood thinking about how things might change after baby. I am so happy I followed my friend’s advice to not make any big life changes in that first year given the crazy, ever changing nature of a child (and parent’s!) first 12 months of life.

Thanks for stopping by for my very first post! Did you make any big life changes in the first 12 months of your child’s life?